Dear Vegan White Woman,
Several years ago we were engaging in an animal rights action of bearing witness, and you started to talk with someone next to you about a woman’s body.
I didn’t see the photograph, but I didn’t need to. You said something to the effect of, “Clearly she could lose weight.” After that moment, I internally banned you from my cool list. Fat shaming, not cool. Vegans fat shaming, the worst.
Some people, even vegan doctors, like to say that vegans shouldn’t be fat. For who? For the vegan movement? For the animals? Nope. I think people should be themselves (.) I am not a health vegan, I am an ethical vegan. I think it’s a great side effect, that animals are spared murder, because people choose to become vegan for health reasons. However, this does not grant anyone permission to go around telling other people how they should live in their bodies.
Because you said this, I believed that it wasn’t safe for me or my fat and curvy friends to be around people that say body shaming things like you did. What I have now learned from this, is that I don’t care what fat shaming people think anymore. I now realize that I’m not more or less of an important person, because I don’t fit into some people’s definition of a “healthy vegan body.”
This experience enabled me to seek out other vegans who understand what it means to be respectful around or in the absence of those who struggle with sizeist, fat shaming and all the disrespect that goes along with objectification of our bodies.
Since this comment, I noticed you called yourself out on this perspective.
So I am happy to say, I have sincerely forgiven you for what you said. I have begun to forgive myself for not giving you the benefit of the doubt. I could stand to lose some of my pride around you. I suppose I could have “called you out” on it back then, but we weren’t there for that. We were there for the other animals that were being objectified for the consumption of their bodies.
I acknowledge your efforts for becoming aware of the way you fat shamed others and even yourself. I am grateful for your saying that fat shaming phrase, because it pushed me to create a retreat for curvy vegans.
I commit to continuing the create celebratory spaces for curvy vegans and I am glad that you have begun to too. Thank you.
May we all continue to heal the illusion of separation.
Blissful wishes,
Bee